Fall In Love With Parenting Again!

When parenting no longer brings you joy… when it’s your #1 stressor, you may feel:

  • Frustration
  • Resentment
  • Anger
  • Walking on eggshells
  • Hopelessness that your family life will always drag you down

I’ve been there, and I’m here to support moms and dads just like you.

What I’ve found is that parents in this situation who highly value peace and cooperation are afraid their kids will grow up to be bullies or narcissists, or simply unable to cope with the demands of teenage and adult life.  These moms and dads may even spiral down into hopelessness and lose their ability to stay strong for their family.  They’re sometimes afraid they’ll have to place their kids in residential treatment.  Things may even get so tense that they fear someone in the family is going to snap and hurt somebody.

They get frustrated when their kids push back in an extreme way, and they don’t know what to do to get cooperation on basic things like the bedtime routine or helping out with chores.

The challenge these parents face is when they seek out help, the strategies proposed by book authors or other parenting “gurus” sound great in principle, but are too hard to implement in real life.

What they really want is to have a mostly happy and joyful family life, with more fun than fighting.

But they think the problem is that they can’t figure out what makes their kids behave.

They may blame all the problems on their kids’ “baggage”, or some psychological disorder.

So they end up studying “positive parenting” types of methodologies “by the book”, e.g., learn phrases or techniques that they hope will get the kids engaged or compliant.  And when they still struggle, they end up feeling frustrated, thinking that the methodology they’re trying to follow “doesn’t work”.

But the real problem is that these parents haven’t taken a good look at what makes THEM tick, i.e., their own emotional triggers, which are rooted in their own limiting beliefs.  These parents are looking (or secretly wishing) for a “magic pill” solution to “fix” their family, and that’s just not how it works.

(Or, they can follow along in their minds, sort of like an advanced math student who then tries to do the calculus homework on their own & can’t remember a thing.  Or when you’re new on the job, and your trainer goes through everything—it all makes sense, but you come in the next day & have forgotten everything.  The real problem is they need ongoing support with someone who not only has a method clearly outlined, but is available to talk with and can help them level up their mindset, dissect their family life and untangle the limited thinking that’s causing tension in the family.) 

What they need to do is develop skills around being empowered as parents.  Not in a power-over way, but power-with, and also power within.  And skill development takes some coaching; don’t expect to do it on your own.  You weren’t handed an easy task.  You’re like an athlete training for the Olympics.  With an outside perspective from someone who’s been through it, you’ll make the 2-millimeter shifts that will better equip you to take on whatever family life throws at you!